I am not! So, I hear so many different things; ‘women can have it all’, ‘women can’t have it all’, ‘you have to find the right balance’, ‘it’s impossible to find the right balance’, and in my quest for trying to find the answer I’ve read so many reports, spoken to a lot of women who I think have that perfect balance, and what have I learnt. It’s impossible to find the right balance all the time. Women approach me and ask me how I find that balance, they clearly feel I have it, but what I’ve realised is I can’t have the right balance all the time, and I need to stop beating myself up about it.
My family is the centre of my world. I work to give my children the best start in life possible, and to demonstrate that in the household, men and women are equal. However, when work gets particularly busy and the balance is tipped one way, I find myself saying things such as, ‘I am the worst Mother in the world’, ‘my husband will think I am the worst wife ever’, and sometimes just want to burst into tears with the emotional turmoil of it all. A bit dramatic I know, and I sometimes feel embarrassed saying it. So how to handle it?
Over the last few months, I have realised something. Yes, sometimes work will take over more of your life than perhaps you feel comfortable with, yes, you emotionally beat yourself up and yes, you feel torn between trying to do a good job and be a present Mum. However, I’ve realised if I set boundaries I start to feel more in control. Setting myself a time period when the working pace is acceptable, but then knowing I have a light at the end of the tunnel is so important. Also ensuring my boss is aware is of equal important, and knowing when to say, ‘no’, something us women are necessarily that great at.
So, as I start to see the light, I’ve learnt something. What I need to make the busy periods bearable (including an amazing husband), and where my work boundaries are. Now to set these learnings into practise.